The Hunt for Red October

Hi friends,

So sorry, dear readers, for the break in posting as my brain has been numbed by the summer heat. Today I was outside trimming dead palm fronds, pulling weeds, and general yard clean-up, with sweat running down my face and off my head. People, it’s September 28th! The Milwaukee temperature at three pm? Sixty-seven degrees. Here in Safety Harbor? Eighty-seven degrees. It’s finally starting to cool down from our summer temperatures in the very high nineties. Yay, fall.

I love a northern autumn and October is my favorite month of the year. The gradual change in the temperature, the crisp low 60’s/high 50’s, wearing layers, a trip to the farm for fall vegies, caramel apples, and hayrides. Halloween and pumpkin carving! Most spectacularly, the leaves changing from green to vibrant yellows, oranges, and reds. It’s a feast for the eyes. It’s a celebration of a summer enjoyed and a herald of the holiday season to come. (We won’t discuss January through April right now). 

The leaves don’t change color in Florida. Based on my limited research it has to do with the level of chlorophyll, the amount of rain and the temperature, blah, blah, blah. I’m no botanist, so, please hit the google if you want more details. From my five years of observation here in Florida, it goes like this – green, brown, down – right into the pool. I don’t even have the joy of raking up a good pile of crunchy leaves, instead I have a “pool rake” that I use daily once the actual leaf fall begins…in January. 

I’ll pull out my October decorations. Colored leafy items, Halloween themed wall hangings, my skeleton and pumpkin candle holders. I’ll celebrate fall with sweat on my brow and leave my sweaters in the closet. I’ll look at all the posts of turning leaves on social media. I’ll stand under the A/C vent and feel the crisp seventy-eight-degree air. I’ll eat some apples with caramel sauce, but I won’t carve a pumpkin because it will rot in days. I will fake it in the south this year, and maybe next year I’ll make it north for a real red October.

Much love,

Paula

 

The Money Pit

Hi Friends,

As I'm sure you are all aware, the real-estate market is absolutely crazy right now. Articles abound on NPR and other news sources about how to manage through the housing shortage and avoid huge financial mistakes. A house for sale in our neighborhood went on the market and in one weekend had 57 viewing appointments, 17 offers and sold for $40,000+ over asking. (This from a postcard sent to us by the realtor who offered the house.) The neighbors were astounded by the traffic that weekend, all to look at a nice, but fairly unremarkable house.

While we love our unremarkable house, it did take a little getting used to. It was not unusual, especially when our crab apple tree was in bloom, to have photographers with tripods taking pictures of our Queen Ann up north. A local PBS special on our old hometown used a picture of our house as their advertisement--we have a screenshot of it somewhere. But that was then. Take down our snowblower mailbox and our unremarkable house slides into the background. 

Now there is another house for sale, just down the block on our street. It was previously owned by someone who had inherited it from his mom. In fairness, no matter how shabby he looked when he rode by on his bike, he said hi to our dog Molly and said what a good looking dog she was. Unfortunately there were so many liens against the house and for various other reasons, he had to sell. That's when a woman from Wisconsin spoke to the city and said if they'd remove the liens, she would buy it for $90,000 and fix it up. The city council was more than happy to make this deal.

Fast forward to today. No work was ever done. But here's the listing:

"Ready to live in charming Safety Harbor? What is it they say? Location! Location! Location! This one's got it covered. What a great opportunity to own a property in a location just steps away from Tampa Bay in a desired area sprinkled by new homes and remodeled cuties. This property is just bursting with potential! It has solid concrete block walls with full terrazzo floor and an interior down to the studs. Plan it out the way you want. Buff up the terrazzo and watch it shine! Design a kitchen with the cabinets that you want including an oversized farm sink or stone counters. Open up the space between the living room and the kitchen with a pass through or center island. Also, consider a second bathroom off one of the bedrooms by opening up a door into the large utility room that could be modified into your second bathroom. Don't forget the large, private backyard. This would be great place to relax in a screened enclosed deck or a patio with a beautiful garden. Imagine the possibilities! You pick the paint, you pick the fixtures, & you do it the way you want. End result- a great property close to downtown Safety Harbor with all of its shops and restaurants, the spa in the marina, as well as hike/bike paths on North Bayshore that start down on Gulf to Bay & the causeway leading all the way up to historical Philippi Park. Safety Harbor offers special downtown events, live music, a fishing pier, kayak & bike rentals, nature parks, exercise trails, and more! Cash only offers please."

In sales, there's an old saying--sell the sizzle. All yours for just $249,000 in cash! Let me take a shot at a more accurate listing:

Looking for a cement block box that has no hope of being financed by a bank that doesn't have "de Columbia" somewhere in the name? Well, step right up! This block on slab home shows very little signs of water damage--since it hasn't had a working bathroom in years! The lack of noise caused by the lack of pesky central air will allow you to more clearly hear the wildlife that has made their home through multiple intrusions into soffits and attic. Sure, the cheap plexiglass windows are cracked and yellowed, but that bonus ventilation allows more pure fresh Florida air inside to flush what may have been the crack fire that may have lit the previous owner's head on fire. (Come on folks--you can't believe everything in a police report.) Ready to step outside? You can't have a backyard this lush, this green, without CONSTANT FERTILIZATION! Say what you want about the homeless, but those people know how to poop and pee in a yard (fancy folks call it nightshade)!

$249,000. That's quite a flip for doing absolutely nothing. 

Now, we don't live in one of the ubiquitous HOAs (Home Owners Association). Neither Dan nor I have any desire to pay a monthly fee to have our exterior design choices governed by power crazed neighbors. Our neighborhood is eclectic, and we like it. A block away is a trailer park. Two blocks away is new construction on the bay that ranges in value between $750,000 to over one million. And it sells. We live on a street with reasonably sized old Florida ranches, cozy homes that are not ostentatious. Maybe our unremarkable house is a million-dollar gold mine. But if we sold, we couldn't afford to buy.

Be sane and be safe friends. Much love,

Paula